The ground rules for teenage parenting are knowing that your child is a ‘teen’ and not a ‘kid’ anymore; and knowing that your child is a ‘teen’ and not an ‘adult’ yet. Adolescents at puberty need to be dealt with a proper blend of sensitivity and toughness, subtly.
The game plan of teenage parenting consists of many things. First and foremost comes: ensuring good company for your son or daughter. Then comes imbibing good habits from a very early stage of childhood which is in turn affected by the atmosphere provided by the family, neighbourhood and general locality and this can be moderated by friendly discussions at the same time not indulging in the practice of regular direct confrontations with your child.
One of the key components of teenage parenting is never to ‘preach’. Parents should refrain from giving children the impression that the parents know what is best for them. Better ways to deal with it is by adopting methods like cutting down on monthly pocket-money, and encouraging them to involve themselves in activities which are constructive in nature and bear monetary benefits at the same time helping them grow as independent entities. They should be made to feel significant and treated as mature beings.
Parents need to be always in sync with the lives of their children. This does not mean that they keep an eye on them, but instead, keep communicating with the child. Issues need to be handled with extreme care. A parent should never ‘shout’, but should never be ‘silent’ either. Teenage parenting is about striking that careful balance between control and permissiveness. Therefore, a parent must never smother, nor ignore. To be in touch with your teenage son or daughter, one of the most effective techniques is to indulge in activities which the child finds interesting. Play games with them, watch Sandler movies with them, grow up with them, have the fun they can have. Come to terms with changing times. Teenage parenting is all about adapting to the ever-changing, ever-growing society and the world at large. It goes beyond good parenting, and helps the parent grow as an individual too.
Another thing to be made sure of is to never lay down tough rules or guide-books unless absolutely required. Let your child sheepishly learn from their own mistakes. In this manner, mutual respect is built and love is generated.
Other non-psychological methods of parenting a teen include buying them good books (non-academic: ranging from Nancy Drew to Ayn Rand to Coelho, and get them into the habit of reading in their early teens. Discourage laziness out and out and pay special importance to their dietary habits. Also discourage thoroughly late night parties (you should always know where they are, and with whom) and heavy expenditure that is unaccounted for. Try not to lay restrictions on what they wear. Make them realise the difference between looks and depth.
Create general global awareness, have stimulating conversations and give them all the love and support you can.
